Reptile

by Tiriel

NC-17, m/m
Pairing: Truman/Rosenfield

Set after the series finale. NOT set in my Fall Universe. Massive spoiler alert. Knowledge of the last season is assumed-this one kind of drops you into the middle of an ongoing situation. Coop's got problems. Albert doesn't seem to care, and he's even more rude and abrasive than usual. Harry is seriously ticked off. Oh, yeah, and they interrupt each other a lot. Albert and Harry, that is. Coop isn't doing much talking at this point.

Disclaimer: The characters of this story don't belong to me...they came from the twisted minds of David Lynch and Mark Frost (and I mean that respectfully)-I'll put them back when I'm done. Please don't sue me, all I have are student loans.

Warnings: Angst, angst, angst. AlbertAngst, TrumanTorture, and CooperCruelty. Unresolved series finale issues-*not* a fixit story.

So I'm in an angsty mood. Thanks to Aithine for the factchecking help, and to Little Miss S for the long-distance beta. Dedicated to the one who will never see it, but inspired it nonetheless.

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Reptile
by Tiriel

"I thought you loved him, Albert. I know he loves you. Why won't you come see him?"

"I am a very busy man, *Sheriff Truman*. So unless you have something new to say--"

"I do, actually. You, *Agent Rosenfield*, are a cold, unfeeling, empty, heartless, cold--"

"You said 'cold' already, Sheriff. Perhaps you should consider purchasing a thesaurus. Shall I spell that for you? T-h-"

"--cold-*blooded* bastard. We're talking about Coop. Bizarre, wonderful, puzzling, brilliant Dale Cooper, one of the most remarkable men I've ever met."

"Is he now?"

"Yes, he is. So how is it that this doesn't affect you? You stay in DC, you don't return my calls, you haven't visited him once. Don't you feel anything? What if I told you he'd been asking for you in his lucid moments?"

There was a pause. "Has he?"

"He doesn't even have any lucid moments, not that you'd know that. But Mrs. Palmer and Major Briggs think that there's hope. They have an idea--"

"I really must be getting back to work."

"Fine, Albert. Fine. What Dale ever saw in a-a-a *reptile* like you is beyond me. I won't bother you again."

In Twin Peaks, Washington, Sheriff Harry Truman slammed the phone down, then knocked it from his desk. It hit the floor with an angry crash. He grabbed his keys and stalked out of the station.

In Washington, DC, Special Agent Albert Rosenfield sat on a stool in a cold FBI lab, the phone still in his hand. He was shaking. He held the phone through the silence, through the recorded operator's voice, through the insistent beeping. He held the phone until there was silence again. He was alone. Always alone.

Harry drove recklessly to the hospital. He'd arrested people for committing fewer traffic violations, not that speed mattered at this point.

Albert stood up, smoothed his white lab coat, hung up the phone, and walked crisply out of the J. Edgar Hoover Building. He greeted acquaintances as they passed. If you asked, none of them would say he'd seemed any different than usual.

At Calhoun Memorial Hospital, Harry looked through the window that separated Coop from the rest of the world. Even now, drugged, restrained, possessed, he looked somehow different. Harry kept expecting to see his eyes open and hear some obscure and seemingly irrelevant remark about Tibet, or something like that. At this point, he'd be happy to hear anything other than "How's Annie?"

Annie was, surprisingly enough, fine. She was out of the hospital now, and visited Coop daily. Not that it made a difference. He was watched closely for any change, but they didn't expect it. They kept him drugged so that Bob wouldn't hurt him or jump to a new host. He'd stay drugged until they found a way to banish Bob for good. Coop wouldn't have wanted it any other way, if he'd had a say in things.

On the airplane, Albert stared out the window at the ground passing by below. He didn't really see the landscape, though. He saw Dale Cooper. They'd been lovers since not long after Caroline's death. Dale had needed someone, and Albert had been there. He'd weathered it all--the despair, the anger, the guilt. Then things had been normal--or as close to it as Cooper ever got--for a long time. They'd spent as much time together as their schedules allowed, falling into an easy companionship.

Their relationship had been a secret, of course. They were FBI agents. In fact, they often overcompensated a little--being far more harsh on each other in public than they needed to be. But in private, behind closed doors, in bed, those were the moments that mattered. Until Windom Earle came back. When Earle came back, it all changed. Albert wanted to help, wanted to support Dale, wanted to be there for him, but he found himself on the outside. Alone.

"Harry?" Annie's soft voice woke Harry from his doze. "I'm sorry, Harry. I didn't mean to startle you. You can go home now. I'll stay with him." Her smile was, as always, sweet and warm.

"Thank you, Annie. How are you today?" Harry stretched and stood up.

"Oh, same as always. No change in him?"

"No change. Doc says the stitches on his forehead'll be out soon, though. His body's almost healed."

"But his soul isn't." She sat down in the chair next to the bed and took Dale's hand in hers.

Harry started to leave, then paused, lingering in the doorway. "Annie?"

"Yes?"

"Will you--I mean, do you still pray?"

"Every day."

"Would you...would you put in a request from me, too, for him to get better?"

"Of course."

Harry let out the breath he hadn't known he was holding. "Thank you," he said, and left the room. He was just putting on his coat and hat when he heard the dry voice from behind him.

"So that's the flying nun? What is she doing, praying to the patron saint of lost causes?"

Harry turned and walked over to Albert. "*Now* you finally decide to show up?"

I figured I'd come and get a look at Special Agent Eggplant--see if he was really so out of it or if it was the result of the fine medical care he's receiving here at Hayseed General."

Harry shoved Albert hard against the wall. "You have some nerve. If that's how you're going to talk, do him a favor and don't go in there." He turned and left.

After he was gone, Albert stood and looked through the window, watching. Annie held Dale's hand, smoothed his hair, talked to him. Albert didn't even realize someone had approached until he heard a voice.

"Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that little exchange between you and our esteemed sheriff. Jerry Horne. I don't think we were ever formally introduced."

Albert didn't respond, and didn't shake the offered hand.

"Well, suffice it to say that he hasn't treated my family well in recent weeks. He tried to frame my brother for murder, as a matter of fact, and I saw him assault you. I saw the whole thing. You ought to press charges, or maybe even sue. So, if you need legal representation, or," Jerry's eyes skimmed Albert's body, "or anything else, I'm your man." He held out a business card.

Albert turned from the window then and fixed Jerry with a look that could give even a lawyer chills.

"Guess not," Jerry said weakly, and walked quietly away. On his way out of the hospital, he hit on every tall, blonde he passed, until he found a nurse who was charmed by his effusive epithets. "My magnificent medical goddess," he was saying as Albert walked briskly past, "I want to cook for you."

After leaving the hospital, Harry checked in at the station. He considered going to the hotel to find Albert and apologize, but decided not to. Despite the fact that he and Albert had grown to understand and respect each other over time, or at least they had before all this happened, Albert had gotten what he deserved today. Harry wasn't proud, but he wasn't sorry.

He went to the Bookhouse. He was almost finished repairing the damage he'd done to the place when he was crazy with grief over Josie. He took off his jacket, uniform shirt, and holster, and got down to work. The manual labor helped him forget. For just a moment, the sound of the hammer covered up the sound of the knocking at the door. This was the Bookhouse. They didn't get casual visitors. No one ever knocked. He wiped the back of his hand across his forehead and went to answer the door.

Albert had already knocked far longer than he was comfortable with. He wanted to turn and leave, but he felt rooted to the ground. He always stuck to this kind of decision, once he made it.

Harry opened the door and was surprised to see Albert waiting on the other side. "What are you doing here?"

"I went to the station. They said you were here." He was calm, quiet, purposeful.

"Oh." Harry was even more surprised that Albert had said that without making a snide remark about Lucy or Andy. And there was something strange about his eyes.

"Tell me everything that happened." Albert's voice was low and rough. He turned his head quickly to the side and then quickly back again. "Tell me all of it. Please."

"Come in, sit down," Harry said, shocked into politeness. "Can I get you something? Coffee? You must have had a long flight."

"No, thank you. Just tell me."

"Then where should I begin? What do you know already? I sent a report to Gordon."

"He gave me a copy. I didn't read it. Start with the pageant. That's where his tapes stop."

"Well, apparently Earle had decided to kidnap the woman who won. The queen, he called her--more of his sick chess game. Annie won. We were watching for him, but he was in disguise and by the time we spotted him it was too late. The lights went out and everyone was panicking and they were gone before we even had a chance.

"We'd been trying to figure out the petroglyph, the lodges, all of it. That night, it finally came together and we figured out where they'd gone. I drove Coop out to Glastonbury Grove, and he eventually insisted on going on alone. I followed quietly, and I saw him vanish. Into the Black Lodge, I guess. I sat and waited for him, and about a day later they both reappeared. Just him and Annie, no sign of Earle, and I'm still not sure what I saw. They were unconscious. Annie was bleeding. We took her to the hospital--she's fine now, as you saw today--and him to his room at the Great Northern.

"When he woke up, his voice was strange. He asked how Annie was. Then he said he needed to brush his teeth, and he went into the bathroom. We heard a crash, and I knocked and called out to see of he was okay. Then I heard it. He was repeating "How's Annie?" in this weird voice and cackling--it makes my skin crawl to think of it even now. I kicked in the door. He'd broken the mirror with his forehead, squeezed out all the toothpaste into the sink. For just a second it was him again, but then this *look* came over him and he laughed and--"

Harry broke off and stood up quickly. He poured himself a glass of whiskey and held up the bottle, eyebrows raised. Albert nodded. Harry poured a second glass and handed it to him. Both of them drained their glasses quickly, then Harry continued.

"He attacked me. He just flew at me and knocked me down and the blood from his forehead was dripping down onto my face as he tried to choke me. He was like an animal. It took three men to restrain him. By then, it was obvious what had happened. It was Leland at the station all over again. Doc Hayward sedated him, and we've kept him under ever since so he won't hurt himself or somebody else, and so we can keep Bob from leaving Coop and finding a new host. This has to end. When Gordon came we discussed moving him, but we all think that if there's an answer, it's here, where it all started. We're trying to track down Gerard and--"

"How could you do it?"

"What?"

"You let him go in there. How could you let him go in there?" Albert's voice sounded oddly empty.

"You know him, Albert. Earle had Annie, and even if he hadn't... You know him. Do you really think anyone could have stopped him? I've asked myself that question a thousand times since then, and I just don't think anyone could have."

There was a long pause. Harry shifted uncomfortably in his chair. Finally, he couldn't take it any longer. "He'll be okay. I'm sure of it. We're working on a way to help him. Coop is special to everyone he's met here."

Albert chuckled, a short, sharp sound. "And he's *very* special to *you*, isn't he?"

"Oh, I see. Is that what this is about? Yes, he is, but not like that. I am--I *was* in love with Josie, remember? Coop and I are friends."

"Then how did you know?"

"Know what?"

"Do I have to spell everything out for you, you goddamn useless inbred fool? About Dale and me. What you said on the phone."

"He told me, the same day he told me about Caroline. He was so upset. I was worried about him. But he seemed so much happier after--" Harry cut himself off and looked away.

"After he fell in love with Annie. Quite all right. I always knew he'd find a woman again someday. Explain something to me, though. He fell for an ex-nun turned beauty queen. Your girlfriend, on the other hand, was a homicidal whore. And he's the one in the hospital. What kind of sense does that make?"

"Don't talk about Josie like that." Harry stood up. "Know what? I think I was wrong. I don't think you love Dale at all. I don't think you care about anything. I don't think you feel anything. I don't know why you even came." He pointed to the door. "Now leave, before you really piss me off."

Albert rose to his feet, but, instead of heading for the door, he stepped closer to Harry. He smiled thinly and cocked his head to one side. "What was it you called me on the phone? Oh, yes, a reptile." Albert reached out, grabbed the front of Harry's t-shirt, and kissed him hard on the mouth.

As shocked as Harry was at the kiss, he was even more shocked to feel his body responding. His lips parted, and Albert's tongue began to explore his mouth.

Albert jerked his head back abruptly. "I am *not* a reptile," he said in a fierce whisper, then kissed Harry again.

Then Harry's arms were around him, and Albert loosed his grip on Harry's shirt. He pulled back again. "I am not empty. I am not shallow." There was a fire, a heat in his voice now. Another kiss. His arms wrapped around Harry. "I am not superficial or cold-blooded or heartless."

Harry exhaled, what sounded like an "ohhh," as Albert's mouth moved to his neck.

"Most of all, I am not unfeeling." His hands moved to pull Harry's t-shirt over his head. "I feel very deeply." Harry pushed Albert's coat and suit jacket from his shoulders. "What I am," he said as his mouth worked its way down Harry's chest, "is highly self-aware," he moved back up to kiss Harry's mouth and helped unbutton his own shirt, "and extremely controlled."

The cuffs of Albert's shirt were still buttoned when Harry tried to push it off, and he paused to wriggle his hands free. "I present a facade." He reached for Harry's belt. "I act." Harry kicked off his shoes and stepped out of his pants. "I pretend."

"Why?" Harry gasped out. He'd stopped questioning what was going on. He knew only that he hadn't felt anything this good in a long time, and that he didn't want it to stop. But he was still listening to Albert.

"Because otherwise it hurts too much." He removed his shoes and socks. "If I only feel things on the inside," he let Harry help him out of his pants, "then it hurts less and no one sees the weakness." He knelt and pulled off Harry's socks and underwear, then leaned in and swallowed Harry's erection whole. A dizzying moment later, he continued. "And if I pretend the pain doesn't exist, then sometimes I can actually manage to forget that it does. And for however long I manage to believe that, however long that lasts, the pain is gone." He stood and removed his own underwear.

Both completely naked now, they kissed until the room spun around them. "But he always knew. He saw through me every time." Albert pulled Harry with him to the floor until they were lying side by side and face to face on the rug. "I never had to tell him." Albert felt his skin tingle as warm hands roamed his body. "I never told him." He kept talking, even as Harry's hand reached his leaking erection. "And this isn't about him," he said, his own hand reaching Harry's cock and getting down to business, "or about proving that I feel." His hand moved faster. "You're so honest, so true. You feel what you feel when you feel it. No pretense." He felt Harry's body stiffen against his. "We're opposites," he breathed. Then he felt Harry's cock jerk in his hand and he listened for a moment to the quiet sounds Harry made as he came.

As soon as Harry could focus his thoughts again, he realized that he was holding Albert's still-erect penis in his hand. "Sorry," he said huskily, then began again to stroke, guessing from Albert's reactions, from the gasps in mid-sentence, how best to return the pleasure he'd received.

"Sorry? I don't remember the last time I was this honest. Maybe never." Albert gasped. "I feel so--" he broke off as he crashed into orgasm, then continued, "--exposed. Naked."

Harry sat up and looked around for a handy way to clean up their mess, finally settling on his t-shirt. "You are naked," he said, smiling.

"I meant spiritually naked. It's terrifying but good. I don't want it to stop." He sat up and leaned forward to kiss Harry.

Harry groaned and pulled back, a pang of guilt hitting him now that blood was returning to his brain. "No. We can't do this. We shouldn't have done this. It's like cheating."

"What, on Josie?" Albert's voice was cold again.

"No. There hasn't been anyone since her, and even after everything she did I still miss her, but that's not it. It's Dale. You and he are together, and he's my friend."

"Were. We *were* together. You wondered what he saw in me? I'll tell you." The heat returned to Albert's voice as he said, "I cared for him--I loved him--when he didn't believe anyone would or even should. He was a wreck after Caroline. When Earle came back, I expected to be helping him again. I wanted to support him through it. He wouldn't let me. I thought it was you, but now I know it wasn't, and that was before he even met Annie. He pushed me away, and he's with her now. Or will be, if he's ever himself again. He pushed me away, Harry. Don't--" Albert stopped.

"Don't what? I'm just a small-town sheriff. I don't read minds."

"Damn it, don't make me say it."

Harry waited, silently.

"Stubborn," Albert said, but there was no venom in it. "Fine. Don't push me away."

"Okay," Harry said simply, reaching out to touch Albert's hand, "but we really should go somewhere else. Anyone could show up here. And besides, I think you should stop in at the hospital. Meet me at my place?"

"No," Albert said, reaching for his clothes, "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Oh." Harry pulled his hand back.

"Odd how once you start to say things, be honest, it all just keeps tumbling out. What I meant was that if we do it that way, I won't show up there. I might even leave town. Come to the hospital with me and to the hotel with me." A note of insecurity in his voice. "Unless you want me to escape."

"Sure." Harry drew a deep breath. "But would you mind my place instead of the hotel? Too much has happened there."

"All right. Now, does this place have a bathroom, or is that too much to expect? Tell me there's indoor plumbing, at least."

"Outhouse is around back." Harry grinned. "Bathroom's right that way."

"Thanks." Albert walked in the indicated direction, carrying his clothes.

Left alone in the main room, Harry spoke softly to himself. "Well, this is an interesting development. I don't think even Coop could have predicted this one. Then again, maybe he could have."

In the bathroom, Albert looked at himself in the mirror. "For a city boy, you certainly have a knack for picking up wounded animals. Let's see...dead girlfriend, guilt, no previous homosexual experiences. Hmmm. Sounds familiar. Sounds like a recipe for disaster. Oh, well. You never learn." He sighed, washed up, dressed, and returned to the main room. Harry was dressed and waiting, bare skin peeking out from under his collar instead of his usual black t-shirt.

They didn't talk. They took separate cars to the hospital, but walked in together. Annie had gone home for the night. The presence of the sheriff convinced the duty nurse to allow an after-hours visit, and Albert entered Dale's room while Harry waited in the hall.

Albert stood quietly by the bed, looking down at the man he loved. He reached out his hand and hesitantly touched Dale's cheek. "I never said it. I never told you. I know that you knew--that you know, but some things should be said. Sometimes saying them makes them real, which is the hardest and the best part. I'm sorry that I stayed away so long. And I'm sorry that I waited until now, when you've found someone else, when you're unconscious, to tell you, and most of all I'm sorry that I wasn't here to stop you or to go with you or in your place. I love you, Dale Cooper. Wherever you are, whatever dark battle you're fighting, if anyone can make it through, make it back into the light, it's you. Come back soon." He stood silently for a few moments after that, hoping.

In the hallway, Harry watched. "I met Coop for the first time here in the hospital," he thought. "And I've gone from punching Albert to respecting and even liking him to this, whatever this is. Life in Twin Peaks hasn't been boring since Coop came to town, that's for sure."

After a while, Albert came back into the hallway. "Tomorrow you can tell me about this idea your local sideshow freaks have come up with for trying to perform that exorcism so we can wake Sleeping Beauty." It was as much question as statement.

"Sure thing," Harry said as they left the hospital, "tomorrow."

The End

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You know me. (Insert shameless begging for feedback here.) Thank you.



Tiriel

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