Paradox

Paradox

by BOB (aka TM Alexander)
Rating: NC-17, m/m

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction falling under the laws of parody, and therefore does not intend to infringe upon copyrights held by David Lynch, Mark Frost, ABC Television, or other holders of copyrights.

This story was originally written in 1993.

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Paradox
by BOB

She walked into the lobby of The Great Northern and paused, brushing her long, chestnut brown hair back off her shoulder. Her full, red lips pursed, she scanned the area with a keen, viridian gaze. "Very Paul Bunyan," she murmured. Adjusting the strap of her purse, she moved to the front desk.

"Welcome to Twin Peaks," the clerk said cheerfully. "How may I be of service?"

She set her purse on the counter. "You have a reservation for Denise Brycen?"

"One moment, ma'am...."

After freshening up, Denise headed for the local sheriff's department. She looked forward to the reunion with her old friend and fellow agent, Dale Cooper. It had been too long, she realized, since they last saw one another. There would be no reminiscing before business, which was the reason why she was here.

She glanced in the rear-view mirror of the Seattle Headquarters, Bureau-acquisition car. "Damn," she swore. Her lipstick was in sore need of a touch-up. Braking at an intersection, she fished through her bag for the tube of Ruby Wine. She knew that if she'd only stopped licking her lips so much, she wouldn't have to keep doing this.

Leaning up, she used the mirror to make sure she didn't color outside the lines. She rubbed her lips together, puckered, then nodded in satisfaction. She smiled as she returned the lipstick to her purse. Would Coop object to a hello kiss, she wondered? "Maybe I should wait," she thought out loud. "Till later."

She reached her destination, parking beside a suburban sporting police lights and painted with the local constabulary's logo. She straightened her suit, smoothing her skirt and checking her hose to make sure there were no runs. With head high, she walked in.

"Hello," Denise said, smiling at the receptionist.

The blonde stared up at her. "Can I help you?" she asked, in a squeaky, high-pitched manner.

Brycen glanced at the nameplate. "Yes, Lucy. Can you tell Special Agent Dale Cooper that Agent Brycen is here to see him?"

Lucy nodded, reaching for the switchboard. "He's in a meeting with Sheriff Truman and Deputy Hawk." She didn't take her eyes off the statuesque agent. "I'll tell them you're here."

"Thank you." Denise turned around and perused her surroundings while the girl made the call. Like the hotel, the Sheriff's Department was all pine paneling and very out-doorsy. She grinned, shaking her head. It was so... *rugged.*

"Miss Brycen?"

Denise pivoted on her toes, eyebrows lifted. "Yes?"

"You can go in."

"Thank you."

*****

It was late at night. Denise found herself sitting on the foot of Coop's bed in his room at the Great Northern. They were still going over the details of what appeared to be an elaborate effort to frame him for drug trafficking. They had been at it for hours, though, and she was starting to get tired.

She looked at Dale. A fond smile spread over her face. He was still as handsome as she recalled. Dark hair neatly combed, long lashes any woman would kill for, and a pretty mouth. He was dressed in slacks and a flannel shirt, looking like he actually belonged up here among the lumberjacks. Denise admired his profile, the way his eyes tracked as he read the papers spread out across the desk.

Cooper sat back in his chair and rubbed his neck. "Oh!" he groaned. "I sure could use a hot shower."

Brycen grinned. "How about the next best thing?" she suggested. Rising, she walked around to stand behind Dale. Her strong hands kneaded his shoulder, working out the knots. "Better?"

Coop sighed blissfully, rocking with her hands. "Amazing!" he said. He smiled up at her. "You've always had magic fingers, Denise."

"I'm flattered that you remembered." Tossing her hair back, Denise leaned down. "What can I say?" she said softly. "I just have a gift for making men relax." On impulse, she bent and lightly kissed Coop's cheek.

Dale blinked. "What was that for?"

She shrugged. "Just something I've been waiting all day to do." She licked her lips again. "I've missed you, Dale."

He reached up, patting her hand. "It's been a while," he admitted.

Brycen paused, turning her hand over to squeeze Dale's fingers. "You never call. I guess you're so busy, you don't have the time...."

Cooper twisted to look at her again. "I'm sorry, Denise," he said sincerely. Straightening, he let out a long, tired sigh. "But you're right. I've been working on this particular case for quite a while. Months before Laura Palmer was found dead."

"You really should take a break from time to time," Brycen said. She turned his chair, then slid onto his lap. "I'm fully qualified to see that you get the best, most satisfying form of relaxation known to man, woman, and everything in between." She winked. "Like me."

Coop chuckled. Denise guided one of his hands to her thigh, put the other one around her hip. "Do you really think this is within Bureau regulations?" he asked.

She grinned. "Did J. Edgar Hoover wear ladies' underwear?" She slid her skirt up her leg, then urged Dale to follow. They reached the top of one stocking together. With lips close to Dale's ear, Brycen whispered, "We've done enough work for one night. Let's take a couple of hours to play."

Agent Cooper inhaled gently when Denise probed his ear with the tip of her tongue. She felt his nipple harden under her palm, where her hand rested on his shirt. She drew back, smiling broadly. "Why, Coop. Can I take that as a 'yes?'"

Dale gazed up at her. "We really should continue the investigation," he rasped.

Denise felt her spirit deflate slightly. "I suppose," she mumbled. She moved to get up - - but Coop suddenly tightened his arms around her.

"I said we *should,*'" Dale reminded. "I didn't say 'right *now.*"

Brycen's pulse quickened. She gave in to the pull of Dale's mouth as it lifted to her invitingly. They kissed, gradually opening to full exploration. Coop was one of her better lovers; he understood and accepted her, without question. He was also the only man who'd actually attended a public function with her, as her date. That had been their last time together, too.

The chair creaked under their weight. They barely heard it over their labored breathing. Denise held Coop's face between her hands. She sucked on his tongue, nibbling the tip as it tried to escape then darted back in for more. Dale reached up under her skirt, following the garter to the edge of her silk panties.

Abruptly, Denise got up. Gazing into Cooper's eyes, she knelt before him, between his knees. With the ease of a veteran, she unbuckled his belt, opened his fly, and drew out his cock. She bowed over it, taking it deep into her mouth. Coop sighed and leaned back, petting her head.

It wasn't long before Denise was certain of her partner's arousal. She abandoned the erection, daintily wiping at the corners of her mouth. She smiled, eyes sparkling with the promise of satisfaction.

Dale's attention was focused eye-level as Denise stood. Mesmerized, he watched her hike up her skirt and unfasten her garters. Her thumbs hooked in the waistband of her underwear. Slowly, she slid them down her shapely legs and stepped out, reaching down to catch the panties. She dusted them under Coop's nose, letting him have a whiff, then laughed throatily when he grabbed them with his teeth. She leaned down and he spit out the material in trade for another passionate kiss.

His fingers stroked Brycen's thighs before he guided her to turn around. Shoving the skirt up over her hips, the FBI agent bent forward. He pressed his lips to each smooth buttock. Denise's heart skipped a beat. She angled over the desk, spreading her legs wide. Cooper used both hands to pry apart her ass cheeks; he buried his face in the warm valley, running his tongue down to her hole.

Denise gasped. Her hips swayed under the wild, wet probe. Hanging her head, she grasped the wood surface under her damp palms. She caught her lower lip between her teeth to keep from crying out.

Coop ended the rimming and stood. Denise felt his finger take the place of his tongue, pushing into her. She was no virgin - - far from it. She tightened around the intruder, to tell Dale without words what he could expect. But he already knew, as the back seat of a government limo after the President's charity dinner could attest.

Dale withdrew his hand. He covered Denise's back, placing his still firm cock against her opening. Brycen braced for the joining; she let out a sharp moan as she was pierced. They surged together like ocean waves smashing against a pier. Dale's left hand maintained its grip on her hip, while the other reached up to clutch her shoulder and hold her steady. His low grunts of exertion intensified, matching the rhythm of his thrusts.

Brycen panted, whole body tingling with hunger. Coop's manhood pumped in and out like a Formula 1 piston. It was so good - - too good for just Denise. There was an ache that begged for comfort, that all too constant reminder of the agent's other nature.

Unable to ignore it, Denise put all support on one arm. She dipped down with her free hand, found that part of her that was *Dennis* - - Brycen's true identity. Swollen and demanding, *his* cock bounced against the table. He gathered it into his palm, began stroking it in time with Coop's rapid tempo. He warned himself mentally to wait, and pinched the base of his shaft to suppress the inevitable for as long as possible.

Cooper's thrusts started to slow down, becoming more pronounced, deeper. Brycen glanced back, face and neck dewed with sweat, his hand stroking furiously. "Fuck me," he rasped. "Fuck me, Dale." He punctuated the pleas with a contraction of inner muscles. He milked his lover, forcing him to fight his way in, adding to the stimulus for them both. He felt the preamble, his cock dribbling over his thumb. "Yes!" he hissed. He shoved back onto his lover's pole. "Oh, God! Dale! I'm coming! I'm coming!" His voice went up, nearly to a strained falsetto, and he didn't know whether to gasp or scream.

Dale slammed into Brycen's ass with three sharp, gouging strikes. Each one delivered a molten burst of thick, male fluid. Denise/Dennis smiled, mouth open, eyes closed, savoring the sensation. His hand fell away from his equally spent cock. He'd managed to catch most of it in his palm; the rest wound up in the folds of the front of his skirt. He raised his sticky fingers to his mouth, licking away his own semen.

Cooper shuddered and let out a deep breath. Gently, he pulled out. Denise stood up and looked back, watching her friend collapse into the chair again. She grinned. "Better?" she asked, pushing strands of long hair away from her flushed face.

Dale nodded, still trying to catch his breath. He sniffed the air, then under his arm. "Phew!" he whistled, wrinkling his nose with distaste. "I think I'd better get that shower, after all."

"Hm, same here." Brycen removed her pumps, then unzipped her skirt and carefully worked it down her legs. Stockings followed; then the blouse and padded bra. At last, the wig was pulled off, exposing short, sweaty brown hair. What stood before Coop now was a man, naked save for smudged makeup. He grinned. "Wash your back if you wash mine?"

Cooper smiled. "Dennis," he said. Dragging himself to his feet again, he sighed. "You have yourself a deal." He stuck out his hand.

Brycen chuckled and took the offer. He drew Dale to the bathroom, backpedaling in order to look into his hazel eyes. "You know... it isn't fair that Denise gets all the attention."

"You're right," Dale agreed. "It's important to maintain equality between the sexes." Coop cocked an eyebrow. "How would you like to remedy that?"

Brycen stopped in the doorway. Stepping up close to the slightly shorter FBI agent, he unbuttoned the flannel shirt and slid his hands inside. "We take our shower," he murmured. "And afterwards... *I* get to be on top."

Dale smiled. "But you got to be on top, in the limousine... if memory serves me correctly."

The transvestite laughed, touching noses with his friend. "All right - - *Dennis* gets to be on top!" He shook his head ruefully. "You're so *literal,* Coop."

Cooper's grin broadened. "I wonder if that's waterproof mascara you're wearing," he said huskily.

Brycen slipped a hand behind the other man's neck. "Let's find out," he suggested.

The shower wasn't the only source of steam in the bathroom, that night. Needless to say, it was a while before either agent was relaxed enough to resume work on the case.

*****

The FBI agent sat in the Bureau-acquisition car, waiting for his new partner. The sky was dismal, foretelling of rain. He glanced at his watch then back at the hotel. "Come on," he mumbled. "What's taking so long?"

The passenger door opened. "Sorry I'm late," the woman muttered. She pulled the seat belt strap across her front and secured the buckle. "I had to make a call."

"That's okay." He started the car, feeling it purr to life around them. "I was just reviewing the case." He smiled wryly. "I hope you're ready for this, Scully."

Dana Scully favored him with a stoic look, but said nothing in reply. A few minutes down the road, she sighed. "It's so beautiful up here," she remarked. "I've never been to the northwest states, before."

Fox Mulder's full lips tugged up at the corners. "I have," he stated. He directed the vehicle along the twisting highway. "A few years ago, about 1991. I did a little stint with the DEA, kind of gave a helping hand." The car bounced gently over a bump in the road. "In fact, it was one of my first encounters as an agent with something that could be considered an X-file. Of course, it wasn't my assignment. It belonged to another agent - - Dale Cooper."

Scully stared at him, wide-eyed. "Mulder," she said quietly. "Special Agent Cooper was reported missing in action during an investigation in this same area, in 1991."

"I know. I was here, just before he disappeared. Agent Cooper was a very good friend of mine. We'd worked together before, and he knew of my personal interests in matters of the paranormal and extraterrestrial. He shared some of his thoughts on the case with me. Because this area is a renowned hot spot for UFO activity, he had suspicions of the involvement of extraterrestrial, and felt he was on the verge of discovering something very important about the existence of a dimensional portal to another realm, like the Bermuda or Michigan Triangles."

Scully gave him one of those looks he got from so many people. "Dimensional portal?" She shook her head. "Mulder.... It's a common belief among Bureau staff that he was the victim of a serial killer operating in the vicinity, but so few people really know all the details of the case he was working on, at the time, it isn't very clear *what* happened exactly. Did it ever occur to you, with the extensive acreage of the Oregon and Washington forests, that Agent Cooper *might* have been killed, and his body *buried* somewhere out here?"

"Yes, it has," Mulder admitted sagely. "But I feel that the government *does* know what happened, and they're just hiding the truth until interest dies off completely." He glanced at her. "Personally, I'm not planning on forgetting anytime soon." He sighed, squinting through the windshield. Raindrops began to pepper the glass, obscuring his vision. He switched on the wipers. "There was a lot going on up there in Twin Peaks, Scully. A lot more than the FBI will ever admit. As usual."

She smirked but said nothing more on the subject. Mulder was glad, but inwardly he couldn't help thinking back to his last visit to this region. It was the last time Denise - - and Dennis - - Brycen had been out in public. Since then, he had retired both personas, focusing all his attention on his own agenda, and his responsibility to investigate whatever unexplained files the FBI dropped into his lap. The X-files had given him the direction he needed. Someday, he promised himself, after he found out what happened to his sister Samantha, he would go back to Twin Peaks and solve the mystery of Dale's disappearance. For all he knew, Coop had found that door and had walked through to something wonderful. Maybe he was with Sam, too.

He could only imagine.

The End

Tam

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