Lost and Found
By Jennifer Lyon
Rating: NC-17, Cade/Eddie
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The remote control was a limp weight in his hand. His finger poked desultorily at the channel button, even though he wasn't paying any attention to the TV screen. His eyes saw only a blur of shapes and colors; his ears heard only a murmur of sound. Cade Foster was simply too tired to care.
So much had happened over the past two years and there just hadn't been time to sit down and absorb it all. Even now, Eddie was two feet away working to find another lead. Another alien plot to discover and stop. Another step closer to victory - or death.
He flipped another couple of channels without even noticing what was on, then let go of the remote, resting it down on his knee. He leaned back into the old, battered couch, staring blindly at the TV, just grateful for the sounds of normality even if he wasn't really listening.
"You know, Foster, while that blue is definitely your color, I don't quite think this is your style," commented an amused male voice. Cade blinked rapidly, turning his head towards Eddie who grinned as he slumped down onto the couch beside Cade.
"Not that I mind if you're into that kind of thing, of course..." Eddie continued.
"What?" Cade asked before following Eddie's gaze towards the TV. As it turned out, he'd left the channel on the Home Shopping Networking which was now selling women's nightgowns. Eddie raised an eyebrow at him which Cade ignored as he lifted the remote and quickly flipped another couple of channels, settling on some kind of talk show.
"Hey, you OK?" Eddie asked, the amusement dried out of his voice.
"Yeah," Cade replied, shrugging his shoulders. "Just a bit tired."
"I know," Eddie agreed softly. Cade met his dark eyes, silently communicating his gratitude for the other man's presence. He'd never have survived this without him; even with him it had been nearly impossible. So many deaths, so many people hurt, so little progress.
"Sometimes I wonder if I'm just - crazy - that I'll wake up some day and realize that I've hallucinated the whole thing. The Gua, all of it," Cade said, desperately trying to keep his voice from trembling.
A warm hand settled on his back, gently massaging his spine.
"You're *not* crazy," Eddie told him firmly. Cade sighed and leaned into Eddie's touch. "The aliens are real and they are trying to destroy the human race and take over this planet. Just because most people are too blind to see what is happening around them doesn't mean you're wrong or hallucinating or anything. I believe too and so do lots of other. You gotta hang in there man!"
Cade smiled wryly, closing his eyes. "You're right, but sometimes this all seems really..."
"Weird?" Eddie completed for him. Then he bolted forward in his seat. "Holy shit that's you!"
"What?" Cade exclaimed, opening his eyes to stare at the TV. Sure enough, there was a photo of his own face staring back at him from the small, grainy screen. He exchanged a quick glance of concern with Eddie, then focused on the TV.
A lovely, professionally-dressed woman was speaking now, seated in a comfortable armchair across from the slick, blonde-haired host. Cade and Eddie both listened with growing disbelief and anger.
"I can't provide a complete diagnosis for someone I've never interviewed of course, but Cade Foster shows all of the signs of having experienced a psychotic break. He couldn't cope with the knowledge that he killed his wife in a fit of rage - so his mind invented this reality in which he is the victim of an alien plot....
"It's not surprising that he's seeing himself as this 'twice-blessed man' who is going to save Earth from an alien invasion. Megalomania is a common accompaniment to...
"Eddie Nambulous is a gifted computer hacker. That's probably not his real name and we've been unable to track any information about him. He's an antisocial paranoid, unable to form stable relationships or function in normal society...
"Foster and 'Eddie' are enabling each other - they've obviously formed a severe codependency. Eddie provides Foster with support for his delusions, reassuring him that there is an alien conspiracy. In return, Foster's dependency on him makes Eddie feel important and needed. Foster's known to be personable and charming - a loner like Eddie would be easily seduced by being the center of Foster's attention. And he has that - Foster needs him desperately...
"Oh yes, I wouldn't be surprised if both men are absolutely convinced that they've seen aliens. There's a phenomenon called Folie a Deux...
"Lovers? I don't know. Emotionally, they're totally dependent upon each other, almost to the point of obsession. Whether that translates into a sexual relationship, however, depends on a variety of factors including their upbringing and intrinsic sexual orientation. We just don't have enough information on Eddie to know about him..."
"Bitch!" Eddie yelled at the TV. Cade was simply too shocked to say anything. He just stared at the TV, letting her words wash over him. Eddie, on the other hand, was quick to respond. He launched himself towards his computer, cracking his knuckles noisily before seizing the mouse in one hand and typing furiously on the keyboard with the other. "We'll see who's dependent on whom," he muttered.
A few moments later, the woman's face dissolved into a cold, plain blue screen, her voice halted in mid-sentence. That startled Cade enough to bring him up out of his trance. He leapt up to join Eddie, peering down over his shoulder.
Eddie grinned at the computer. "Let's see them fix that in less than forty-eight hours!" he crowed.
"What did you do?" Cade asked, resting a hand on Eddie's shoulder.
"Uploaded a specially-designed virus into the station's mainframe. They'll have to take the entire thing down to clean it out. That'll teach them to be more careful about crucify innocent people onscreen! Just because I'm an antisocial paranoid doesn't mean I'm crazy!"
That did it. Cade couldn't help himself; he broke out into laughter. His body shook with the force of it, edging dangerously towards hysteria. Eddie caught that tone and instantly shoved his own anger aside. Turning to look up at Cade, he closed his hand over Cade's.
"Hey, take it easy," he urged.
Cade gasped for breath. Eddie pushed up out of his chair and steered Cade back to the couch.
"Sit down and take a deep breath," Eddie instructed. Cade did as he was told, his mind still replaying the unknown woman's words in his head. Eddie seemed to sense that, he wrapped an arm around Cade's shoulder, hugging him sideways.
"Don't pay any attention to what she said," Eddie told him. "She's probably an alien. The Gua are always trying to mess with your head."
Cade did as instructed, drawing in and holding full breaths of air, then letting them go slowly. Slowly, the tension leaked out of his body and he leaned back against Eddie's encircling arm.
"I know," he sighed. "God knows they've done it before. It's just that the things she said..." He grimaced. "She really struck home."
"Yeah, the bastards are good at that. Look how they almost got you with that whole 'hero' charade. They couldn't convince you that you'd won, so now they're trying to make you think you're crazy." Eddie shook a fist at the blank blue TV screen. "You're not gonna win this time either, you slimy, wriggle-faced..."
"Wriggle-faced?" Cade interrupted incredulously, his eyebrows lifting up upwards over slanted eyes.
Eddie paused, then shrugged. "Yeah, you know, that weird creepy squirming-under-the-the-skin thing they do. Wriggle-faced."
This time, Cade's laughter was warm with simple amusement. "I suppose that's as good a description as any other."
Eddie nodded. "Damned right. Wriggle-faced sons of bitches!"
Cade chuckled again, then ran a hand through his hair, rubbed at the back of his neck. He didn't turn to look at Eddie as he spoke cautiously.
"Alien or not, she got one thing right."
Eddie leaned forward, tilting his head to try to look into Cade's face. Cade finally turned to meet his eyes before answering the unspoken question.
"I do need you."
They looked into each other's eyes, blue melding with brown, for a long moment before Eddie replied with equal seriousness.
"That goes both ways."
Cade managed to give a slight nod without losing contact. Then they froze like that, barely breathing, staring intensely into each other's eyes. Time seemed to stretch and waver. The urge to move closer was shared silently but drawn out, millimeter by millimeter. An invisible string drew their mouths together, irresistable.
Cade felt a rush of heated air hit his skin before they touched, lips sliding across each other in the most hesitant of contacts. Noses collided, drawing a soft hiss of amusement, before a quick tilt brought them into alignment.
The second kiss was firmer, lips meeting and holding, but still tentative. They pulled apart, stole deep breaths, then tried yet again. This time, Cade slid a hand up to frame Eddie's cheek, holding him as he deepened the kiss. Eddie leaned into that warm palm, his lips parting, inviting. That was all Cade needed to delve in deeply.
They traded, shared kisses, explored each other's mouths in thorough detail. Eddie settled one hand on Cade's shoulder; Cade continued to cradle Eddie's cheek. Other than those two touches, they only made contact with their mouths. It was enough. Though the hunger grew, slow, thick and sweet, neither man was in a hurry.
It felt to Cade as though he was sliding into a deep tub of hot bathwater, settling down into an utter sense of peace and security. This had been building between them, slowly, for a long time. A thousand moments had promised this, each instant of trust given and returned, of danger shared, of sacrifice offered and of faith given without question.
And it was the depth of that emotion, finally, the quickened their pace. Passion stirred, fired on the spark of love, and swept them away as kisses turned demanding and bodies craved contact. Cade reached to wrap his arms around Eddie and found himself caught in a return embrace. He swept needy hands over the long, lean expanse of Eddie's back, moaning as Eddie explored him in return.
Need flared into a joyous struggle to strip away barriers and join flesh to flesh. Cade drew Eddie down onto him, the couch sagging between their twinned weight, but holding enough. Eddie's mouth attacked his neck, suckling, nibbling and Cade cried out, clutching Eddie to him, crushing their bodies together.
The contact was sheer ecstasy, Cade shuddered with it, fire bursting through his groin. Eddie pulsed against him, thrust, rubbed, in a nearly helpless wriggle. Cade wrapped his legs around Eddie's thighs and buttocks, squeezing him into a tighter embrace. Somehow their mouths met again, and Cade's sob of release was caught in his lover's lungs, breathed back out at him in return as Eddie convulsed against him.
They collapsed together, sticky, sweaty, exhausted, and sweetly satiated. Cade found Eddie's be-ringed ear, licked at it gently as their heart rates slowed down together. Eddie's breath settled down into an easy rhythm against Cade's shoulder. Cade felt him slide into slumber, but didn't follow. Instead, he lay still, cherishing Eddie's weight, closeness, not wanting to lose the merest instant of this moment.
He knew all too well just how fragile this was. He'd already lost the first person he had loved dearly and he knew the odds of keeping the second were slim at best. Their enemy had already targeted Eddie once. They would again, knowing almost as well as Cade did, just how important the man was.
Cade had no qualms about risking his own life. He had too little to lose and everything to gain. But he couldn't say now, as he might have two, or even one year ago, that he had nothing to lose. For what he had to lose was only the most precious thing in the world. Love.
Yet, that in and of itself, was the greatest gift at all. He had this, Eddie, now and he knew from losing Hannah, just how important every moment was. And he knew just how hard he'd fight to keep Eddie safe. He'd failed once, he wouldn't again. The smile he pressed against Eddie's forehead was grim and didn't touch his blue diamond eyes. Those orbs lifted and focused on the matching, silent TV screen as though they could somehow burn that message through the machine to the enemies beyond. No words, no threats, no deeds they might conceive would stop him now.
If they'd meant to shake his faith in himself or in Eddie, their intent had back-fired. He'd fought for lost love, now he'd fight for love found as well.
END
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